41 years ago my mother was an air traffic controller in the Navy and a single mother-to-be. My father , who was in the Marines and stationed on a nearby base in Virginia Beach, suggested an abortion. My mother decided to have me after my parents broke up and moved back to Spencer, West Virginia to live with my grandfather. My grandfather was an abusive, petty, stupid, small man in my estimation. he hated that I was an illegitimate “bastard” child. He often used my cousin, who lived down the street from us and was a little bit younger than me to marginalize me for being illegitimate and strange.
One time I found a spider on the side of our pink house. I sprayed it with red spray paint and the spider fell off of the house, presumably dying. There was a red mark on the house with a spider print in the middle for which my grandfather beat me with a stick. I was probably 4 or 5. That blot remained on the house for years. We frequently visited my uncle, who ended up inheriting the house, and as I grew up I would revisit that image when we did. It was a red splotch with a spider in the middle. It is ingrained in my memory visually and therefore I’ve never forgotten the scene which produced it. A red spider, representing the web or the network of memory, and death. It was representative of all of the things to come in my life and the web I had to weave to get to this moment now.
It wasn’t very long after that that my grandfather was driving a tractor up the side of a steep embankment and rolled the tractor over on top of himself. I remember moments of the day somewhat clearly as my mom was over at her friend’s house with me having her hair done and she got a call that made her very frantic. she rushed back home and her friend brought me home a few minutes later. When I arrived I remember the tractor upside down. My grandfather was somewhere under it. For years I felt felt like I remembered seeing him under it, his face purple and black and crushed. I’m not sure now if I actually did remember seeing it or if I peeked. They tried to keep me away from it, after all. Perhaps I only remember it because my mom looked upon him and in her grief she described in front of me later. As she described it then that image coagulated in my head, and was married to the red spider and my handful of other negative memories of him. Do no harm, grandpa, or grandmother web will right it…one way or another…
I was always an unusual child. I learned to talk well before I could walk and I was speaking complete sentences well before others in my peer age group. My mother, perhaps because of the heartbreak and trauma she was experiencing from having to move back home with her abusive father and being separated from a man that she thought she loved who had fathered a child with her became increasingly more religious and anti-abortion over the years. I believe this to be understandable given the circumstances. She really wanted to justify that I deserved to be in the world and could contribute despite my lack of legal paternal validation. She railed against the injustice that was social propriety at the expense of common decency, especially in being a single mother in the late 70s in small town West Virginia with an illegitimate child. The condemnation she experienced likely fueled the righteousness of her anti-abortion crusade later. she had seen the worst of people, the worst of men, she wanted me to become better than them. No man in her life had ever treated her well and she wanted to make sure that I wasn’t going to be one of those kinds of men in the future. She sought to validate my existence as a righteous endeavor. An existence that she made a deliberate and therefore sacred effort to foster, she is shadow royalty, as many women are, not for avoiding abortion or making a choice for her own body and life, but doing so at great cost to her own social currency in a heteropatriarchal culture that only values women as receptacles and incubators.
I believe in a great many possibilities these days. I believe that in an alternate reality I was aborted. In any case we are now finding that stress on the unborn caused by the experienced traumas of the mother create genetic markers in children that manipulates genes. The kinds of things that my mom experienced; the hurt, the familial dysfunction, the instability, those left their marks on me even while she was pregnant with me and they left marks on her genetics as well. Current research on epigenetics is starting to give us a picture of the reality of genetic memory. If genetic markers from our ancestors and their experiences can leave marks on us that give us irrational phobias of things such as spiders or snakes then it’s not really a stretch to imagine that talented people can read or interpret their own genetic markers for the “Other” memories (like the Bene Gesserit in Dune) that they are and define the impressions that they make on our psyche to begin to clarify and construct them into plausible scenes and visions of the past. Constructing scenes of the future, otherwise known as making predictions or prophecy, then becomes a game of “chasing plausible possibilities” based on internalizing experiences and lessons from the information and employs the same art of constructing a scene utilizing all available data but in the future and not the past. A prophet/witch is then one who can describe these scenes and visions in a compelling way that inspires people to begin working towards, or avoiding that future or rectifying that past.
And therein lies a glimpse of the design that most people conceptualize as God. I often speculate that dark matter, which is woven throughout the universe, is actually that massive consciousness and it is the design or program that everything who shares consciousness is running. Emotions are recipes and formula designed to internalize memory which is the foundation of identity and don’t originate in our own mind, instead they come from The Design and we are left to interpret the messages to the best of our abilities. The Design, or Program, (God) is the source (an operating system if you will, that is supported by a multitude of applications or identities commonly in the form of angels, demons, deities and messiahs) that represent the modes of behavior that drive evolution forward at crucial points in history. Evolution functions to farm or manufacture independant consciousness and terraform planets. The operating system that we think of as God creates identities and concepts specific to our planet and experience through which to drive the design with the available resources of our location in the universe. We can think of these identities as angels, demons, other djinn, but ultimately they evolve along with us in our own collective consciousness because they are archetypes that are specific to our region or planet. We experience them as archetypes or examples that we strive towards in order to play our part in the design of our own lives and community in service to evolution and true independence. We also do this in order to honor our ancestors, the legions of which are the infrastructure of the archetypes in our own mind.
Our ancestors left marks on our genetics with their experiences. Identities based on a history of memories of experiences that live within us and therefore are defensibly the angels, demons, heroes, and gods we’ve been creating art about forever. Each one of us is carrying a legion of our ancestors and and their loved ones towards the finish line or the Ascension in which we become like God and start designing and managing our own reality. Every religious philosophy or discipline eventually leads to this understanding. Eventually humans will design our own realities and “artificial” descendants with their very own kind of consciousness and architecture of identity. Just like virtual reality and designing the game from within this leads us ever on to the possibility of androids and… Other intelligences that will hopefully share their existence with us rather than exterminate us as we are currently still so fond of doing to things unlike us… The irony in this is that all of the free will and individuality that we’ve forever imagined is largely an illusion. Each one of us merely runs the program that we were designed to until such a point as we awake and take the design of our life, identity, and purpose into our own hands and hack reality by molding it into something that suits us. That moment is where where individuality and Free Will are truly born and most people currently never reach it. I believe that soon this is about to change, and I believe that many of us are “awakening” to how The Program design works in order to guide others away from the potential panic inherent in these realizations.
All of the Watchers are finding each other, on the streets, on the internet, wherever we have networks, and we are coming together at The Watchtowers to share our experiences with each other as we are designing our own new reality. We await judgement and rapture, or ascension, and we guide others along the path because the program needs all of the designers and engineers we can help activate. The Shape of Things to Come is the realization that religion is and has always been the driving factor behind our own evolution and it is designed with an Easter-eggs or hacks that the design put in for a those of us with the talent (ears that hear, and eyes that see) to exploit to gain awareness in order to join the Host. Spiritual identity and religious disciplines have always been a way to become djinn and take control of the design of our own reality and perception.
As Above, So Below. God designs separate identities for itself by which it experiences and guides us to understand our circumstances. So should we, for that is how we understand creation and design, just as It does. Understanding creation and design is the first step in being able to control or edit creation and design (reality). The ability to understand and hack the program and process that we see in real time every day, or in religions, or in symbols, is witchcraft or magick. To preclude the language of witchcraft and magick from the conversation to appease “rationalists” who lack empathy or emotional intelligence simply because we have other ways to describe these experiences now is a dishonor to our history and culture. In trying to control the design by removing nuance, history, creativity, and interpretation from the equation and replacing it with regulations, etiquettes, and rules designed by other humans we inhibit the mechanism of evolution or progress in service to other humans instead of progress and evolution. Righteousness is tyranny and so it is no surprise that tyrants favor an authoritative god who reflects their own narcissism and compulsion to control others to validate themselves.
I am a multiple or multi, some people conceptualize this as multiple personalities or they think of it only within the diagnostic terminology of dissociative identity disorder. I prefer to think of it as multi (shared) consciousness or plural consciousness. I have identities within me that are separate from each other and serve as my council. Some of them are also representative of living people with which I’ve communed or bonded with so deeply that our empathic connection has become telepathic. Identification with this reality is why I was excommunicated from The Satanic Temple, despite their frantic static noise and misdirection that suggests otherwise. I was never dishonest about my experience with this. From the beginning I picked a new identity (separate from the one I was sacrificing) with which to be involved with The Satanic Temple. My support of Grey Faction was in service of not allowing the Grey People, or talking monkeys, who are dormant and often malignantly bugged programs, to identify or demonize my gifts and abilities as a disorder. Any associated disorder comes from the anxiety or depression that I experience by not being able to live the way that I need to live to maximize the effectiveness of my mission or life goals. I have complex PTSD from living decades pretending to be neurotypical just enough not to be hunted and killed by circumstance or imprisoned or any of the other ways that the “rules” are designed by ravenous greedy talking monkeys to marginalize and obstruct atypical people.
I have a great deal to say about how we approach mental health care but the short gist of it is that we should always approach it from the perspective of treating things like anxiety, addiction, compulsion, and depression for what is truly causing them instead of suppressing unique individual talent and abilities for the comfort of the grey people at large. Sometimes they just need to be treated with safe space and community providing the ability to sit and think about your problems for long periods if that’s what the individual needs to do. Creation of art is also not only a crucial therapy for our kind, but it is a part of and belongs to the program and messaging from the creator or design itself. All art contains the blueprint in pieces for ascension or evolution. Interdisciplinary creative collaborations can quite realistically convey volumes of “holy” messages that many of us are finding increasingly simple to interpret and interact with. Having the space and time away from financial and social obligations to think about or conceptualize mental states and create or define who you are and how you arrived at any given moment in time is how we become closer to the design. We learn about ourselves and how we can construct or define our own reality from that proximity, just as our patron god or hero did. Anxiety and depression can often distracts us from these missions within our current structure of struggling to make currency enough to buy life necessities, but they don’t have to if we remove financial and social obligations that only serve to benefit other people in power and then begin to allow people to live as they need to live and self care as necessary even or especially if they are atypical in their abilities and proclivities.
My mental or religious discipline began with creating characters of myself and living these characters to their fullest potential before I sacrificed them on the altar of the next character in my pantheon or remolded and updated them. Some of the characters I kept around and are still useful for auto piloting through human behavior or program cycles throughout the day or year. My mother named me Jeremiah, so I became that prophet as a child. In my adolescence I began to imagine what other people (and things) I could be and then naming them. I always had an Other voice in my head, when I was young it was my “imaginary” friend, in my teen years I sought to name it and other voices I had acquired. I remember writing those names down, in a sort of invocation of them. Ash was one of those names… inspired by the character of Ashlar in The Mayfair Witch chronicles by Anne Rice. But also representative of the ash left after the sacrifice has been burnt. Another of those names is a character (SARC) that eventually became INDRED.J.GCOLD (I guess he too decided that a name picked by someone else just wouldn’t do for his aesthetic plans). I named them and created the foundations of their attributes, and then I put them on reserve, until I needed them decades later. Together with Ravenna, who is our anchor to our history, ancestors, and the neuronet of natural systems and our resident witch, INDREJ partners to drive us (Ash) into the future while honoring our past and history as experienced and recorded by Ravenna. She is the cause, INDREJ is the reaction. Just as the divine reconciliation of god works so do I. Ash is the avatar they use to accomplish… life editing and design. INDRED.J.(G)COLD is the reconciliation of my patron angel and demon Uriel/Astaroth (both the guardian and and serpent of knowledge of the savage garden, for lesser gods or deities are also two halves desiring reconciliation just as God is with Satan. All design is a smaller reflection or microcosm of the Operating System itself, and we are no different in our own desires for reconciliation and personal growth.
INDREJ is my ego and apparent self, particularly online. Ravenna is my shadow self, and deeply tied to the collective consciousness. Ravenna, a witch, raven, or dark angel, is the perspective from above and without and representative of the divine feminine as a sort of morrigan or banshee, while INDREJ is the serpent, wolf, Djinn, or demon that is the perspective from below or within. INDRED.J (whose textual name fluctuates because it is not optimised for written language alone) is the spider in the center of the web, an undead, red painted spider, fallen from a pink farmhouse. Ravenna is the web itself, which decides to hold or release its prey. They are avatars for Uriel or Astaroth (and the ancestors) and by extension, the Operating system or God itself.
“on candy striped legs, the spider man comes… softly through the shadows of the evening sun…”
Ravenna prefers not to communicate directly with people, but INDREJ, who is her spokesperson and Ash, who is their model, would like to add that the theocrats can now rejoice, and lay off of their war on women’s reproductive rights. Because as we understand our existence; in another reality we likely were aborted, and so in this one we have become angels… (and demons and other gods… but…. details, darling). Come hear the good news that all good kids go to heaven… eventually, even if they never get a chance to become fully human.
All religion and mythology is the same photo, with different filters applied. Some interpretation and assembly required. Death is an illusion when you understand that it is just reintegration and redesign. Become the kind of program that is invaluable and you will retain autonomous identity in the next round while bringing along everyone and everything that has ever mattered to or contributed to your existence into your very own reality.
We resonate with the baphomet because we exemplify its balance and reconciliation. We hope the statue of it is placed on the public square alongside the ramblings of the jealous death god for everyone to compare and contrast or interpret.
We named our vision The Process Temple (of Ascension) because, while many have studied the disciplines, philosophy, and history of The Process Church of the Final Judgement, we have lived them.
Create things (including identities) with intent and artistry, within and without.