For Pride I assisted my people, the divergent, the Queer, by engaging our adversary in a way that both communicated my message and rebuttal and honored freedom of expression for all involved.
I spent the parade and following festival standing and walking alongside, mostly in silent amusement and critique, evangelists and encouraging calm critical response to their presence from our community. Occasionally I engaged in banter, as I do, on personal biblical translations with my unwitting performance partner(s) because as we know, fantasy and interpretation are my thing.
What I wasn’t prepared for as I amused myself being useful instead of succumbing to the poignant tearful joy that Pride festivals cause in me is the community response I received. People are still thanking me days later randomly on the street. I followed with him the whole time he was there, which amounted to a few hours. Many people were confused at first and believed me to actually be with the preacher and responded to me accordingly. Which then was also some of the fun for me, being scapegoated and metaphorically spit upon… was cathartic and so familiar… As everyone became aware of the joke the young Queers circling us to peacefully engage the preacher’s rhetoric made me feel as the Pied Piper.
It was the best Pride ever. Even if I became overwhelmed with pride and sorrow when a young queer came up to me and gave me a silver plastic token… an award for my service. I cried, suddenly and nearly uncontrollably with Pride…
Before I capped it off and saved it for later.
I have been including bible verses and references within my art because I want to show that all art, even that which we have allowed to be defined for us, is open to our own individual interpretation and application. Satanists who enjoy metaphor have as many narratives to weave into their personal mission from the Bible as they do The Satanic Bible.
I plan to keep developing creative projects around my cosmology but here I need to give you an overview of my preferred mythology ( aesthetic) or context which informs my “life misson” or purpose. I believe Asherah to be the Divine Feminine in the original church suppressed Gnostic versions of Christianity and their apocryphal texts. As a god in most religions represents the Sun, with an accompanying goddess represents the moon we have then originally a goddess who is rumored to have been both the consorts of God and Baa’l. A goddess whose altars enraged Yaweh in the bible (presumably after a bad breakup) and were noted for there phallic objects called “Asherah poles” and who is referred to as the “Queen of Heaven”. Her temple priests were often men and also performed ritualized sex work. She is death and suffering and the carnal lessons life and community teach us while Yaweh is the intent with which we use that data to find or serve our purpose. Every demon or angel is a metaphor for a different archetype or type of human or human behavior and they are all masks for these two concepts; thought and memory, history and future and how we use the data we can observe or feel. They also all have their parallels in every other religion and demons are always a reflection of another avatar of God that is an angel. In this “dark” tree cosmology Lilith was a mask of Asherah and the original woman. Lucifer was Asherahs ally but he was one of her replacements as “Adversary ” or companion to God… so that makes him also kind of one of her masks, and Satan one of hers-as-Lucifer. I also think that Astaroth is Asherah as a Queer demonic reflection of Uriel the archangel.
All of this being fanfic to help us see the underlying stories the bible tells us about our history as a species. Once we establish that God decides women and nature should be subserviant to men in the garden we have the basis for the underlying foundational critique I have of Christianity as a Satanist; the declaration of subservience and arbitrary control of other people in service to order and industry and infrastructure. An infrastructure that is demonstrably unequal in opportunity because routes of advancement are blocked by those who control money and land. This was the intent of the foundation of the Church in the first place. They only canonized the parts of the religion that told the story of righteous conquest and demonized the viewpoints of those who advised against violent conquest and advocated for respect for the Other.
What does this have to do with Queers other than Asherah apparently also being a nonbinary representation of the goddess and fertility? Both the stories of Abel and Cain, and the Nephilim, in the bible tell us of cultures and religious practices colliding. We are told that Cain was “evil” and “jealous” of his brothers offering of flesh being accepted while the fruits of his fields were rejected as sacrifice, but as we know, history is told by the winning party. It is likely the story of one tribe of hunters meeting a tribe of farmers and it is as likely that the hunters killed the farmers as it is the other way around. However, imagine that ONE exemplary and powerful tribe, perhaps inspired by a compelling chief or shaman, who, horrified at the slaughter of a sacred animal or one of their companion animals, descended upon and killed the hunters, and how the story would be spun by any survivors and forever be a lesson of how evil the “Other” is. God puts a mark on Cain, so that as he wanders the world for eternity none is permitted to kill him or receive sevenfold the lord’s vengeance. In this God explicitly makes the statement “We need to keep the Other around” even if he wishes to limit or control their influence. Later, we have in the Nephilim the story of Angels breeding with humans and teaching them crafts, such as warfare and… makeup. We have angels, teaching “daughters of men” culture and aesthetic. I imagine “warfare” included teaching of “manhood” and “brotherhood” and this story is metaphor for humans becoming conscious and beginning to imagine stories and make art that inspired them to evolve and be MORE.
Several lines of research are converging lately to suggest to me that;
Neurodivergence is a gift from ancestry and consciousness that gives some of us brain structures that are adept at highly specialized informational gathering and analysis. It is a component wired in to periodically inspire mutation and divergence and that many of us are “waking up” or “woke” to the kinds of genetic memory experience of “other memory” of our ancestors within us in the form of emotions and instincts that can seem supernatural in those of us with accurate emotional memory analysis and appropriate response. The future is now and the tribes of humanity are specializing in intelligence as some of us will be the kinds of people who hold the keys in our thoughts and behavioral patterns as to how we can accurately synthesize and upload human consciousness into an A.I. Without the emotional intelligence of “woke” people, who become like avatars of their favorite subjects or skill sets we would be facing a bleak future where our machine descendants may not have the cultural or emotional maturity to assimilate us peacefully… think Terminator…
The intersections between the autistic and trans communities and consideration of the tradition of “two-spirit” people inspire in me the notion that we, as queer or divergent people, have a sacred place in our human communities. We were tribal religious leaders and watchers. We understood our community in ways that others didn’t because of our enhanced talents for understanding gender and community roles or inclinations and we exemplified empathy and an instinct for understanding patterns and systems of behavior. We watched the herds and learned from the animals. We watched the men and women and learned from them. We guided our people on our “hunches” and “divinations” because explaining our “feelings” to those who didn’t feel them as deeply was futile and inefficient. We were protected and honored before more abusive colonial religions found us and demonized us. Our role was observed as heretical, and the respect or reverence our people showed us marked us as an important first target to colonizers. Our tribes were easier to convert to the new conquering religion once we were out of the picture…
However, what everyone missed and what we are finding out now is that our lineage and place in human communities is not only genetic, but essential and also hardwired into our human programming.
Queers and neurodivergent people specialize in adaptations and insights that are culturally powerful forces. We are the fathers of fathers, and the mother of mothers to our community due to our unique perspectives and proclivities. We watched or adopted kids whose parents failed them. Neighboring tribes would send their two-spirit children and elders to mentor with each other and bridge communities. That is the role I want to reclaim for myself and my people, an acknowledgment of the way that we work and contribute and resistance to forces that are abhorrent to healthy communities.