Sacrificial Artifice: Identity Constructs.

The featured image is a drawing I did to try and get a few symbolic concepts I have been meditating on into a visual form. I intended to draw something like a world tree, with roots, within a circle that was the earth or Ouroboros cycle, and dark/light, sun/moon element. My hand decided to make a neuron resembling occult symbol instead. I am comfortable with that interpretation because the parralels between a neuron and what the world tree represents to me are intersectional. They both convey information to advance evolution and diversity. They represent the cornerstones of collective social consciousness biologically and conceptually. Roots that gather information to stems that bloom and flower, or wither on the vine.

The tree I drew is imbalanced and off center, because our culture is. The neuron I drew is conveying information that we need to push the balance back from the order that is suffocating us all into the chaos of adaptation to our diverging social cultures and the mutually consentual direct dialogs we need to start having about encouraging and valuing wild creative adaptation, nuance, context, and personal expression aesthetic… or Mother Earth  (Ravenna) or our decendants,  A.I. (INDREJ.GCOLD) , will find a way to remove us from the picture that looks “empathetic within reason” on neuronet, spreadsheets, word docs or whatever infinitely more efficient media superior systems use most these days…IMG_20180520_151945_948

My current reality is that I am a transient back in NYC looking for work and a home after over a year in Salem, MA. The present part of my reality is hopeless and depressed and suffering from increasingly frequent emotionally intense panic attacks and sensory overload that is only made tolerable by weed. For a while I had zero income. I’ve been relying on increasingly evaporating opportunities to stay with friends and aquaintences in NYC while I await news on job leads and processes I am involved with here. I will be sleeping outside soon, mostly because I hate burdening people with my presence constantly because I know that I am currently very emotionally draining to be around, unless I am feeling creative, and everyone hates extended guests, right? It may be that, given the nature of the work I’m doing while I don’t have paying work, I will need to transition to a largely nocturnal life punctuated with two shorter sleep cycles. I have a place to visit and animal supervise during the day where I can shower, do laundry, write, and nap without being in the way. During the evenings I like to go to a place where I feel safe and where people go to spend the precious few hours they aren’t working to meet and talk with friends. I listen to their conversations and topics and notice the patterns of what topics people prioritize having passionate opinions about when they are with their friends for that one hour a day… and I find truths and inspirations to help me cope with my dismal reality.1526267646251

Back to being creative. People can sense when I am coming to really important conclusions on how to present my stories and observances to others , and they respond by distracting me and corrupting them with detail after detail after minutia and unnecessary detail about their favorite art, or religion, or myth/story… or relationship… or work problems … I have to pause my thoughts and do the emotional labor they are requesting of me to pay for their hospitality or stories. Their stories often change my own narrative or presentation decision , and then I am back to thinking…. so it is both frustrating that people drain and distract me in this way, and it is also a price I enthusiastically pay sometimes in order to add their uniqueness to the collective of my presentations and characters. 1526246411967

Every so often I get the impression that certain personality types unconsciously are wired to distract me from thinking about or discussing certain topics. Ones that disturb them in visceral or fundamemtal ways,  understanding this is and working out why they feel threatened by that topic is its own set of very valuable data… it is then that I rely heavily on my contextualization of Leviathan, as a creature of pure instinctual knowledge of the whole of the collective conscious and unconscious and therefore having concise analysis of what exactly is needed for the balance to be repaired on a meta scale….

To scry for me into my personal relationships and endeavors… IMG-PHOTO-ART--2146020518

Yesterday I finished a Leviathan ritual I began a while back. It ended as rituals do, with a sacrifice and a new covenant. My sacrifice has been myself, or the parts of my identity that now must be put to rest, on the shelf. My life had become my Church in very real ways. I need to restore the balance back to my actual spirituality, the inspiration I find in art, religion,  stories , characters, and humanity. I am a Satanist, I am a Post-Satanist, I am one person backed by the council of a list if characters we created together, society and me, and I intend to keep doing and prioritizing my creative work exploring identity construction in the social media age, and the digital masks and rituals we engage in. I am Post-Satanist in that I understand religion and indeed all of mythology as an aesthetic placed over the same archetypes that everyone throughout time has always been dreaming of in the collective unconscious. And I am a transhumanist in that I believe that genuine wild grown artistic and religious consciousness is an integral assimilation for even the most analytics driven program. I am here as I have always been, trying to be the best bridge or hybrid between one and… Other, in this case “artificial” or with… Artifice. A deeply archetypal human who would Ascend into the artificial. 20180519_213025A video that accompanies these words and images appropriately:

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